英語手抄報笑話素材

　　一、我是單身漢

　　Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."

　　杰克騎車摔傷，得住院治療。一位年輕美貌的護士拿著表格讓填。仞杰克填好遞上表格"還有什么漏填的?"護士問. "有!"杰克想了想說，"我是個單身漢."

　　二、死予肝癌的人100%都吃飯

　　Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey. To my investigation, all Thespeopleeat meals.

　　妻子：你看這張報紙，據(jù)統(tǒng)計，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。 丈夫：那有什么?據(jù)我調(diào)查，死予肝癌的人100%都吃飯的。

　　三、位置上的冰激凌

　　"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."

　　"請原諒，你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明這點嗎?" "能，我在位置上放了杯 冰激凌."

　　四、別無選擇

　　One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"

　　一天，夏娃問亞當："你當真愛我嗎?" 亞當無可奈何地回答："我還有的選擇嗎?"

　　五、沒有向我敬禮

　　A private didn't notice a young lieutenant and failed to salute him. The lieutenant said sternly, "You did not salute me. For this you must immediately salute one hundred times."　　Just then the general came up. When he saw the poor private about to begin, he exclaimed, "What's all this?"　　The lieutenant explained, "This ignoramus(無知的人) failed to salute me. I'm making his salute one hundred times as a punishment.”　"Quite right," replied the general smiling, "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute return."

　　有個士兵沒有注意到一個年輕的陸軍中尉，沒有向他敬禮。中尉很嚴厲地對那個士兵說：“你沒有向我敬禮，因此你要馬上敬100個禮。”　　這時候?qū)④娺^來了。他看到那個可憐的士兵就要開始敬禮時，就大聲問道：“這是怎么啦?”　　中尉解釋說：“這個蠢貨沒有向我敬禮，我就罰他馬上向我敬一百個禮。”　　將軍笑著說：“完全正確。不過，老弟，別忘了他向你每敬一個禮，你都要回禮的啊!”