致命的`大錯(cuò)
  
　　"finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."
  
　　"qualifications: no education or experience."
  
　　"i am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
  
　　"my compensation should be at least equal to my age."
  
　　"reason for leaving: it had to do with the irs, fbi and sec."
  
　　"fired because i fought for lower pay."
  
　　"size of employer: very tall, probably over 65" .
  
　　"please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."
  
　　"reason for leaving: my boss said the end of the world is near."
  
　　"reason for leaving: the owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. i prefer to elaborate privately."
  
　　打字錯(cuò)誤與語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤
  
　　"here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
  
　　"strengths: ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
  
　　"i am a rabid typist."
  
　　"work history: performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."
  
　　"after receiving advice from several different angels, i have decided to pursue a new line of work."
  
　　"accounting cleric."
  
　　"as indicted, i have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
  
　　"suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments."
  
　　"suspected to graduate early next year."
  
　　"disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
  
　　"proven ability to track down and correct erors."
  
　　"accomplishments: oversight of entire department."
  
　　"am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
  
　　"accomplishments: completed 11 years of high school."
  
　　不應(yīng)有的幽默
  
　　"note: keep this resume on top of the stack. use all others to heat your house."
  
　　"assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (translation: short-order cook.)
  
　　"but wait...theres more. you get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."
  
　　"i have an excellent track record, although i am not a horse."
  
　　"my fortune cookie said, your next interview will result in a job-and i like your company i