職場(chǎng)規(guī)則：教你三步成功修復(fù)破裂的同事關(guān)系
If youve spent enough time in the workforce, you almost certainly have a trail of damaged professional relationships behind you. That doesnt mean youre a bad manager or employee; its simply a fact that some people dont get along, and when we have to rely on each other (to finish the report, to execute the campaign, to close the deal), there are bound to be crossed wires and disappointments.
作為一位上司，如果你只專(zhuān)注于員工的工作效率，那就意味著你很有可能影響到與同事之間的關(guān)系。但是這并不等于你就是一位壞的上司，只能說(shuō)你不適合與某些人相處，并且在需要對(duì)方的時(shí)候(完成報(bào)告，執(zhí)行計(jì)劃，簽訂協(xié)議等)，就一定會(huì)導(dǎo)致理解上的缺失。
Heres how to buck up and repair a professional relationship thats gone off the rails.
下面我們看看有哪些方法可以改善偏離了的職業(yè)關(guān)系吧。
First, its important to recognize that making the effort is worthwhile. Obviously itll ratchet tension down at the office if youre not glaring at your colleague every time they enter the room. But resolving this tension will actually aid your own productivity. You can eliminate unresolved matters that nag at your mind.
首先，你得意識(shí)到努力的重要性。很明顯，只要你不是每次在同事們進(jìn)入辦公室的時(shí)候盯著他們的話(huà)，氣氛就不會(huì)這么緊張。不過(guò)，若你能夠解決這種緊張氣氛，這的確能夠大大提高自己的創(chuàng)造力。甚至還可以解決讓你糾結(jié)已久的工作。
Next, recognize your own culpability. Its easy to demonize your colleague. But youre almost certainly contributing to the dynamic in some way, as well. If you think your colleague is too quiet, you may be filling up the airtime in meetings, which encourages them to become even quieter. If you think hes too lax with details, you may start micromanaging him so much. To get anywhere, you have to understand your role in the situation.
接著是，承認(rèn)自己的過(guò)失。把責(zé)任歸咎于同事們很容易，但是你也很大程度上促使了這件事的發(fā)生。如果你覺(jué)得同事們太安靜，你還在會(huì)議期間把行程排得滿(mǎn)滿(mǎn)的，這樣只會(huì)讓他們更沉默。如果你認(rèn)為同事們不注重細(xì)節(jié)，你就會(huì)開(kāi)始對(duì)他們吹毛求疵。不管怎樣，你應(yīng)該了解自己在不同情況下的角色和作用。
Now its time to press reset. If you unilaterally "decide" youre going to improve your relationship with your colleague, youre likely to be disappointed quickly. The moment they fail to respond to a positive overture or display an irritating behavior, you may conclude that your effort was wasted. Instead, try to make them a partner in your effort.
然后便是重置規(guī)則。如果你只是單方面"決定"要修補(bǔ)與同事之間的關(guān)系，也許你會(huì)更失望。當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)他們并沒(méi)有積極地回應(yīng)你或者表現(xiàn)出不耐煩的態(tài)度，你就有可能草率地認(rèn)為自己的努力白費(fèi)了。相反，你應(yīng)該通過(guò)努力讓他們成為自己的伙伴，這樣緊張的工作關(guān)系才得以緩解。
Finally, you need to change the dynamic. Even the best of intentions – including an agreement with your colleague to turn over a new leaf – can quickly disintegrate if you fall back into your old patterns. To write down a transcript of what was said by each party, so you can begin to see patterns – where you were pushing and she was pulling. Over time, its likely that youll be able to better grasp the big picture of how youre relating to each other and areas where you can try something different.
最后，你還得改變動(dòng)力的方向。即使是最好的意圖——包括與同事執(zhí)行協(xié)議的'下一步，如果你重蹈覆轍的話(huà)，之前的努力還只是無(wú)用功。記下每一個(gè)小組的發(fā)言，你就可以了解他們的思維模式——你就知道該從何下手。久而久之，你就能形成一個(gè)與大部分人相處的畫(huà)面，并且你想嘗試的方向也會(huì)有所不同。
We often imagine that our relationships are permanent and fixed – I dont get along with him because hes a control freak, and thats not likely to change. But we underestimate ourselves, and each other. Its true that you cant give your colleagues a personality transplant and turn them into entirely different people; we all have natural tendencies that emerge. But clearly understanding the dynamics of the relationship – and making changes to whats not working – can lead to markedly more positive results.
我們常常都會(huì)想當(dāng)然的認(rèn)為人際關(guān)系是永久固定的——我不與他打交道是因?yàn)樗且粋�(gè)控制狂，并且很難改變。但是我們低估了自己的能力，還有別人的能力。沒(méi)錯(cuò)，你不能改變同事的個(gè)性，但是我們可以有這種努力的意愿。要清楚了解關(guān)系的動(dòng)態(tài)發(fā)展，并且嘗試解決無(wú)法改變的情況，這樣才會(huì)得到比較滿(mǎn)意的效果。
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