英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)四則
相信不少人在學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)過(guò)程中，會(huì)覺(jué)得英語(yǔ)很枯燥，為了緩解大家的枯燥無(wú)味，下面yjbys網(wǎng)小編為大家提供幾則英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)，在幫助您英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)的過(guò)程中逗您一樂(lè)!
1.I'm Trying to Stop It
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子，你為什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了嗎?”
“沒(méi)有，老師�？墒悄阕蛱煺f(shuō)你告訴我的知識(shí)都是一個(gè)耳朵里進(jìn)，一個(gè)耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”
“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“對(duì)不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
“20美元!為什么?不是說(shuō)好只要4美元。”
“是的，但是你的'孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個(gè)病人嚇跑了。”
TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?
John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.
老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理�，F(xiàn)在，誰(shuí)給我舉個(gè)例子?
約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長(zhǎng)，在冬天天都短。
2.Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She
watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠帶著孩子出來(lái)散步，突然她看見(jiàn)一只貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。
母老鼠向著貓叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，貓聽(tīng)了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回過(guò)頭洋洋自得的對(duì)孩子說(shuō)：“現(xiàn)在你知道外語(yǔ)的重要性了吧。”
改改,添一下
3.I work for 7 up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to
the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of
Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got
triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up
to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of
them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on
the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個(gè)好朋友在醫(yī)院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產(chǎn).護(hù)士過(guò)來(lái)對(duì)第一個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說(shuō):"多奇怪呀,我
是明尼蘇達(dá)雙子隊(duì)的經(jīng)理."過(guò)了一會(huì)兒,護(hù)士過(guò)來(lái)對(duì)第二個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M
公司的董事."最后,護(hù)士跑來(lái)對(duì)第三個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了2對(duì)雙胞胎."男人很開(kāi)心地說(shuō):"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館
工作."他們?nèi)齻�(gè)都很高興,但第四個(gè)伙伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝并用頭撞墻.他們問(wèn)他有什么不對(duì)勁,他回答道:"什
么不對(duì)勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
4.Five Hundred Times 五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given
her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an
immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the
judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that
table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一個(gè)大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開(kāi)車(chē)闖紅燈被開(kāi)了罰單。女士向法官解
釋?zhuān)且幻麑W(xué)校老師，請(qǐng)求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過(guò)一絲狡黠，說(shuō)道：“你是
學(xué)校的老師，對(duì)嗎?女士，我馬上要實(shí)現(xiàn)我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫(xiě)‘我開(kāi)車(chē)闖了紅燈’500遍。”
(這個(gè)不錯(cuò)吧，哈哈，剛開(kāi)始還沒(méi)完全懂呢)
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