怎樣和你不喜歡的人一起工作
Sometimes in your career, you will come across having to work with people you don’t like. So, how do you work with them? Admittedly, it is a huge challenge for many people,but it is a fact of working life. No matter how much we do not like it, the interactions are crucial to get work done.
在你的職業(yè)生涯中，有時(shí)你不得不與你不喜歡的人一起共事。那么，你該如何同他們一起工作呢？誠(chéng)然，對(duì)于許多人來說，這是一個(gè)巨大的挑戰(zhàn)，但這就是工作中的現(xiàn)實(shí)。無論你多么討厭它，但其中的交互作用對(duì)完成工作都是至關(guān)重要的。
Many newbies and veteransalike are caught asking this question day-in and day-out at work – how do I work with people I don’t like? Should I force myself to do it? Pretend I like them? Do I really leave my values at home when I go to work?
在職場(chǎng)中，許多新人和老人都會(huì)日復(fù)一日地陷入問這個(gè)問題的怪圈而不可自拔——如何與我不喜歡的人共事？是否應(yīng)該強(qiáng)迫自己與之共事呢？是否要假裝我喜歡他們？在工作中我是否真的要舍棄自己的價(jià)值觀呢？
The answer is – no, you do not have to. Of course the remedy may not be easy. It will entail you having to step out of your ego for a while to see what is truly happening and to give you clarity of the situation. That stepping out of your own ego is the toughest to do. But it is a worthwhile step. When you are able to do it, it feels like a huge stone is lifted off your heart.How to work with people you don’t like? Try these 3 steps individually or in combination.
答案是——不， 你不需要那么做。當(dāng)然， 解決辦法不那么簡(jiǎn)單。你必須暫時(shí)放下自尊，看看到底發(fā)生了什么，以便讓自己認(rèn)清形勢(shì)。放下自尊是一件最艱難的事情，但同時(shí)也是值得嘗試的一個(gè)舉措。當(dāng)你能夠放下自尊，你會(huì)覺得心里像是搬走一塊巨石。如何與你不喜歡的人共事呢？將以下三種方法分別嘗試一下或組合在一起試試吧。
Engage
吸引注意
To engage in this case means to communicate with them. Step out of your own ego to get yourself to sincerely talk to them. You may be pleasantly surprised that the other person wants to talk too.To engage also means not to hold any grudges against the other person. Face the issue with the other party and discuss whatever challenges you may have candidly. Say what you mean politely. You can be stern but do not be rude. The important thing about how to work with people you don’t like is to be sincere about it.
吸引注意在這種情況下意味著與他們交流。你要放下自尊，真誠(chéng)地與他們交談。很可能你會(huì)喜悅地發(fā)現(xiàn)別人也想與你聊天。吸引注意同時(shí)還意味著你不能抱有怨恨他人的想法。與對(duì)方一起直面這個(gè)問題，坦率地討論你可能懷有的質(zhì)疑，婉轉(zhuǎn)地說出你想表達(dá)的意思。你可以嚴(yán)肅，但絕不可以粗魯。與不喜歡的人共事，重要的一點(diǎn)是態(tài)度要真誠(chéng)。
When you are sincere,you are seeking a win-win situation. Think about this, when you engage this person,being sincere is also a transfer of feelings, which means you want the other person to know that you genuinely want tosettle any animosity you have with each other. It helps you in the long run too.
當(dāng)你的態(tài)度真誠(chéng)時(shí)，你是在尋求一種雙贏的局面。想想看， 當(dāng)你吸引了這個(gè)人的注意時(shí)，真誠(chéng)也會(huì)讓你的態(tài)度感染對(duì)方。它意味著你想讓對(duì)方知道你真的想消除你們之間存在的任何敵意。這個(gè)方法從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來看也是有利于你的。
Enlighten
了解彼此
Have you ever tried to enlighten them about yourself? Have you ever tried to enlighten yourself about them? Perhaps one reason you do not like them is that you do not understand them. And because of it, whatever they do doesn’t seem right. Then all the negativity feeds on each other and the animosity grows.
你是否曾嘗試過讓他們了解你呢？你是否曾嘗試讓自己去了解他們？也許你不喜歡他們的一個(gè)原因是你不了解他們。正因如此，他們的所作所為在你看起來才不恰當(dāng)。然后所有這些消極性會(huì)侵蝕彼此，讓敵意滋長(zhǎng)。
Seek to allow them to get to know you personally.The information about you may enlighten them about you. It gives them insight into who you are, why you do those things and the way you do them. When people understand you more, there is a better chance they will begin to like you. Of course, there is no guarantee it will work. At the very least there is a chance.
想方設(shè)法讓他們了解你這個(gè)人。關(guān)于你的信息可能會(huì)令他們熟悉你。那會(huì)讓他們深入了解你這個(gè)人，你為什么會(huì)做那事以及你的做事方法。當(dāng)人們更多地了解你時(shí)，他們才很有可能開始喜歡你。當(dāng)然，不能保證這一定能奏效。但至少這是一次機(jī)會(huì)。
Get to know them on a more personal level too.Enlighten yourself about them. What makes them tick, what you do disturbs them or even irritates them? Perhaps with this piece of information you may start to know how to work with people you don’t like.
你也要從私人的角度更多地了解他們。你要弄明白他們工作的動(dòng)力是什么，你做什么事會(huì)妨礙到他們或甚至使他們發(fā)怒。也許從這些信息中你可以開始學(xué)會(huì)如何與你不喜歡的人共事。
Entertain
取悅他人
To do this, first you must be able to have a sense of humor. Sure, to have a sense of humor around someone you don’t like is tough. But the tougher thing is that you should have a sense of humor when the situation becomes tense and when you feel animosity. Cracking a joke and looking at the lighter side of things can break a smile on the face of people you don’t like.
要做到這點(diǎn)， 首先你一定要擁有幽默感。當(dāng)然， 對(duì)著一個(gè)你不喜歡的人產(chǎn)生幽默感挺不容易的。而更加困難的是，當(dāng)形勢(shì)變得緊張并且你感受到敵意時(shí)，你更應(yīng)具備幽默感。講講笑話， 多考慮事情較好的那面，能讓你不喜歡的.人面露微笑。
When you do that you can be someone fun to work with. Perhaps you never think of it, but you are someone who is tough to work with. Have you ever considered you are part of the problem?
如果你能做到以上那些，你就能成為一個(gè)有趣的共事者�；蛟S你從未想過， 你可能是個(gè)很難共事的人。你是否考慮過你也是問題的一部分呢？
Ask yourself, are you fun to work with? Do you complain and gossip a lot? Perhaps you are too dogmatic with certain things. You could entertain the person with an afterwork drink. Or invite the person out for lunch. Sometimes it takes more than one session for the person to open up. At the very least, they do feel your sincerity. In a less formal situation people can open up and speak more frankly.
問問自己，你是個(gè)有趣的共事者嗎？你經(jīng)常抱怨或議論是非嗎？也許你對(duì)某些問題過于固執(zhí)己見。你可以招待那個(gè)人下班后喝一杯。或者邀請(qǐng)那個(gè)人一起吃頓午飯。有時(shí)候需要不止一次地嘗試， 對(duì)方才會(huì)敞開心扉。但至少他們能感受到你的真誠(chéng)。在不那么正式的場(chǎng)合，人們往往更容易敞開心扉，開誠(chéng)布公地交流。
Assuming the above is difficult to do, try to entertain yourself by the tough questions and resistance coming from the person. In work situations, you know the people whom you don’t like is likely to raise toughquestions in order to make them difficult for you. It can be very satisfying when you are able to answer them. Dogged determination can wear even the most difficult person down.
假設(shè)以上方法太困難了，那么就盡可能地從來自這個(gè)人的棘手問題和阻撓中獲得愉悅吧。在職場(chǎng)中， 你知道你不喜的人很可能提出棘手的問題，用以給你造成困難。當(dāng)你能夠解決它們時(shí)，你會(huì)非常滿足。堅(jiān)定的決心能使最難相處的人折服。
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